Because you’ve been waiting for 45 minutes when you scheduled an appointment, you’re probably looking at a steep repair bill, and you’re disappointed this bar doesn’t serve alcohol, here are 13 Ways To Get Drunk at the Apple Genius Bar.
1) The Negroni
Alright, dudes, for this round up we need cocktails that are easily transportable and go well in a flask. Let’s start with a negroni. 1 Part Campari, 1 Part Sweet Vermouth, 1 Part Gin. Mix and pour into a flask. You know what? I’m also going to include links to cool flasks. Boom! Peep this shit!
Look. You show up the “Genius Bar with one of these bad boys and I don’t even think Aiden the Genius would be pissed. He’d be pretty impressed.
2) Ruby Red Grapefruit & Jalapeño Cocktail
This Spicy Ruby Red Grapefruit & Jalapeño Cocktail can be pre-made and easily poured into a flask. Keep it next to your heart for when you find out your repair bill will be over $1200.
Look it’s a flask shaped like an iPhone 4. Don’t get them confused and hand the Genius the wrong one.
3) Tequila Sunrise Margarita
Ugh. You just checked your
porn box work computer in for 5 days straight. You need a Tequila Sunrise Margarita.
OK this thing is kind of cool.
4) Spicy Bacon Bloody Mary
So, you went out drinking last night and you dropped your phone in the toilet. You’re now the first in the door, hungover, with a phone that smells like pee trying to convince Jen the Genius that there is no water damage. You need a little hair of the dog this morning. Bring a Spicy Bacon Bloody Mary not just for all those reasons, but also bacon.
Makin Bacon Flask
5) Peach Whiskey Iced Tea
Actually this looks delicious and quite refreshing. If I was sipping this at the Genius Bar, I’d have a feeling that everything’s gonna be alright.
Poop Emoji Flask
I did a search on Amazon for a Peach Emoji Flask and instead got the Poop Emoji and I’m OK with that.
6) The Belmont Bramble
You come in to find out they lost your computer. (seriously this happened to me once). You are completely allowed to whip out a flask and down a Belmont Bramble.
The Cat’s Out Of The Bag Canteen Flask
Look! This one’s shaped like a kitty!
7) Cold Brew Bourbon Cocktail
So you’re up at the ass crack of dawn to be the first one there in the hopes that your appointment doesn’t get pushed back. Well you need a covfefe; a covfefe with booze in it.
Drink you must. Need to buy a new phone you do.
8) Apple Cider Manhattan
Let’s get apple-y. You’re at an Apple Store after all. The Gastronoms have this gorgeous Apple Cider Manhattan you can bring with you.
Game Of Thrones Flask
“I drink and I know things.” Hopefully you knew to get AppleCare.
9) Apple Cider Sangria
Let’s play a drinking game. Every time genius tells you to buy another dongle, drink. Seriously, that’s 23 drinks.(Apple makes 23 different dongles — and it would cost you $857 to buy them all – Business Insider) An entire sangria should cover it.
Giant 64 Ounce Flask
Yeah, you’re gonna need a bigger flask.
10) Cinnamon Apple Old Fashioned
Is this your 3rd or 4th trip back for the same problem? (also happened to me. Faulty board) Bring 3 or 4 Apple Old Fashioneds.
This flask is bigger on the inside.
11) Apple Pie Moonshine
So they decided your computer is dead but you have AppleCare. They’re going give you the newer model and they were able to salvage your data. This calls for Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!
Shot Glass Flask